So now over half way. I know what it is. We are keeping it a secret which is challenging enough. I have to keep catching myself in conversations.

It’s been a bit manic slowly. Found out we are moving within the next month so its all sanity is lost all brain waves are diminished and here we go. So we are starting to pack… yay?

I’m not looking forward to the glucose tolerance test. I don’t trust them after last time. Some how I passed them all until it was late in the game.

I’ve had some wild dreams. It’s lead to a lot of reflection. Not always a positive trip down memory lane. Combine that with starting a new course of therapy and I feel like my brain is slowly fading to grey in terms of how much information I am able to retain.

On the upside, we got a changing table for a tenner, can’t remember if I mentioned that before? We’ve painted it fresh because it badly needed it. I can’t wait to start setting up for the baby though.

Well, the baby kicks…

Loves salty foods too. It’s become an obsession. It dances like a little lunatic when I eat something salty which is funny.

I am finding this vastly different from my last pregnancy.

Yes there is more exhaustion. I could nap for a sport.

However emotionally it is very different. I think being in a completely different environment and place has a massive effect. As well as the fact I don’t have the same people around me this time causing such intense stress and anxiety. It’s been nice to not have to manage toxic influences in my life making things harder than they need to be.

I honestly feel so much safer and more supported. It has made the world of difference. No other news. Scan coming soon after writing this so I will update that in the next post.

Sometimes it’s important to just post a couple of lines.

Primarily this is a massive shout of appreciation to my partner for being so amazing.

P.S. I love you more.

Is it me, or are they always this wild? Like literally.

I have had some of the wildest dreams lately and the most terrifying nightmares.

To be fair most of my nightmares are about my childhood, teen years, growing up kind of thing. But also as an adult dealing with the removal of toxic influences. Like it all circles through the brain and gets processed.

But it’s not just dealing with real memories or things that are problematic the dreams can be utterly random. The cravings after some of them are bizarre.

Still, I think I have eaten way too much carbonara lately as cravings go.

Oh and the middle of the night leg cramps and trips to pee. Torture of the weirdest variety.

So yeah, any one else get absolutely bizarro pregnancy dreams?

I think I have literally slept or vomited through the 4 weeks gap. It would be a fairly accurate description.

Not much else to say.

Midwife appointment went ok. I’m feeling a bit more secure.

Oh almost passed out during the midwife appointment blood test though. Which is an escalation to my usual slight light headed-dizziness from a blood test to full on “I’m going to sit on the floor now because I feel real rough.” So there is that. Do with that what you will.

Emetophobia sucks. Still having anxiety attacks around puking. Hoping it goes away soon. New meds to try for the sick life so lets give those a decent try.