An Author update?

So it has occurred to me, that although I do talk on this page I don’t say much directly about what is going on with me in reality.

So I figured, the last Saturday of the month I would give an update as to what I have been up to in the month and give you an insight into who it is you are reading. Now, I have been told by a friend that I should keep what could be deemed to be a public life and a private life very separate. While I do understand the logic, I thought I may blur the lines.

So, here it is.

Obviously I am female, if you hadn’t have assumed by now. I’m in my twenties, not sure if I have mentioned that. I use Twitter and I have a Facebook page as I am sure you know.

I really do wish I led a healthier lifestyle. But I work in a chaotic environment in an office. Writing is my passion and keeps me sane if that makes sense.

So this past month, my excitement has been over being an actual thing, its a thing! Yes I know I shouldn’t call it a thing, its a website, but its a thing in a good way. I have been super excited about this for days on end. I also got really excited on the 7th  October when this bad boy (or girl?) was released… The Coryburn Girls final in the series I mean.

So I have been doing a wee bit of writing when I get the chance in the evenings or weekends, that or editing. This particular line of story that I am writing, by that I do mean the story, it originally started as a way to break my own boundaries and restrictions, but I am really struggling with the fact that the design to see what could break and destroy the character has grown so much. It seems to be a majority of this characters journey is me just throwing obstacles and situations in the path in the aim to see what it takes to just destroy the character as a whole. What it would take for the total break down, it feels a bit cruel really.

It’s also been a lot of learning this past month, apprenticeship wise, I took some of my exams and it wasn’t too bad.

I recently realised, I seem to be very hard on myself and I do have impossible standards that I set myself. I am trying to change that, I think my expectations of what I want to do can be a bit high, and it is both a problem and a solution because I always want to do better. I think that  eventually should help growth on a personal level in order to do more and explore more ideas with writing.

So this month, I’ve spent time hanging with friends, writing, and I got more work done on my tattoo… Which is now healing quite nicely. Oh and I discovered Netflix, which now means I have even less time and a bigger work load, and I have discovered a  book series thanks to a movie on there… So, as a treat, for completing my exams and working hard on my assignment I might be treating myself to the box set… uh oh!

So… Maybe once I have finished writing the whole of my current project (which is quite a bit of work) I will allow myself to read it.

So many thanks for the reads.


ARA xxx

So why does the “ex” suddenly pop up?

Can we really call that sods law? Or is the timing just an unfortunate coincidence? What do they want and why are they bothering me now? Or are they bere to twist the knife in?

Well we all get it. An ex, out of the blue shows up just when you are doing fine and being happy. And sure things are awkward and you talk and you can still have the similar old chat with them, but that is the problem. Nothing has changed. They haven’t changed. You haven’t changed. The reason you separated hasn’t changed. How you separated, that hasn’t changed. And some how, that hurt hits you in fresh waves.

Ok so maybe you have changed. Maybe I have changed. Maybe I am a thousand times happier now, and happy to have, well not moved on exactly, but happy to have healed a lot. And there is no maybe now. I have discovered the best relationship I have, the one with myself, you see now, I am much kinder to myself and I enjoy my own company more. And let’s face it, I know what I like so there is no arguing about what to watch or do. Or as others would say, have gone back to being  a bit commitment phobic to avoid being hurt.

But it gets even better because while I have changed enough that I care more about how I feel than making everyone else happy, I can see the past for what it is. The past. That is where it has to stay, because, there is a reason it makes you unhappy, because it is impossible to live in the past. Focusing on the past, or torturing yourself with a future that can never be the same will hurt you more than if you decide to say to yourself, I am happiest now caring about how I feel, than I have ever been and that will just grow and continue. Even if there is that window for reconciliation, that fear of being hurt will be there, because, at one time you trusted them more than anyone not to hurt you. Even if there is even a shred of a sign, an old familiarity, things could never be how they were, and things would always need to be different.

While that ease of conversation may still exist and falling into the old habits of communication patterns may still trip you up. Making time for how you feel when that pop up from the ex happens it doesn’t feel the same pain it used to now. Maybe time healed things, or maybe you worked very hard on yourself, maybe your new goal became something totally different. That is ok, there is no need to worry no matter what because you have been transformed.

When I see that name come up on my phone I do roll my eyes. Why not? I know I do it for a lot of people. That ringtone no longer means happy memories like it used to. Maybe now the ring tone is just, memories. The good, the bad and the in between.

Making the time to remember that you can survive very well without them, that you don’t really miss them or whatever, it isn’t a lie that you keep telling yourself until you start to believe it, or maybe it is, it doesn’t matter. It is a promise you make yourself now, because you were happy without them just as you might have once been with them. The only difference now is, focus on what feels good in the present. And don’t look for something to torture yourself with.

And should old thoughts or feelings stir, there is no need to torture yourself. Instead focus on everything in your life that feels good right now.

Hooked on a book 2


Ok, So I have been really naughty. As soon as I finished reading Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead I began reading the second in the series, Frostbite. Oh my god! I did it in a day but that’s not what the OMG is for. That OMG is for, well it’s simple, I mentioned before the books are very well written.

Chapter 22 definitely had me shed a few tears. It is so written in such a raw way. The voice, is beautifully distinct throughout and the world is painted so beautifully.

I realise, that Richelle mead paints her world in a very similar way, she paints it with emotion, or she uses emotion to define her tone in such a confident way that the image and the characters each have their distinct definition.

It makes me wonder, that if you write in a world of emotion like that, just what is your perspective on life. Through someones writing, you can discover how they see the world, how that by reading that you have a chance to see through someones eyes, a window. If that is how you read the world, in an emotional way, than like me, the second book will have you turning the page totally absorbed ignoring all distractions. If not, I would love to see through someones eyes when they read it when their perspective is somewhat different, less emotionally charged and connected.

Now this post is short and sweet for a reason, I want to go and read the third in the series now, called Shadow Kissed…

See you on the other side!

Hooked on a book

Ok, so Richelle Mead has ruined my schedule!

So, here’s the deal, I was going so well recently with my writing/editing schedule, then it arrives. I had ordered the book box set of Vampire Academy as a special treat for doing a couple of exams for work last week. So, it arrives, immediately I am so incredibly tempted by the beautiful designs and fairly uniformed covers, and I know  already, never judge a book by its cover. It doesn’t matter.

I opened the book and bam! There goes my writing schedule, my editing schedule and what was left of my social life and free time outside of work. It took three days, no thanks to having to work, which for those three days I have really truly resented because this book had me hooked. It’s been a while since I read something that got me so hooked, last time it was the Hunger Games and the time before that, to a mildly obsessive level was Harry Potter. Though while I do read, these ones are the ones that had me hooked and on pinterest looking at cool bits connected to it like tattoos and funny quotes.

Well anyway, I started reading the book, I got hooked. While I know a few people who have said they find a Russian accent somewhat intimidating and scary, I however find it attractive. Mind you I do find certain accents are quite attractive (Polish, Russian, Romanian that kind of accent but its not an extensive list mind.) which probably has to do with some family thing. Anyway, I am getting side tracked. What I wanted to say was, I found that the Rose/Dimitri relationship was one that I found myself rooting for, but then again, I am all for a reckless girl doing what feels right/natural…

But what really impressed me was how the topic of mental health was questioned, particularly Lissa’s. It was great to see it tackled in a realistic and mature way, with enough guidance that encourages others to reach out for help. It is great for the teenage girl who could read that and understand their behavior from it.

The whole book was great, with three days of broken reading  (would have happily sat and spent a whole day reading it) the very next morning I began reading book two Frostbite.

My schedule is looming and I am behind deadlines but right now I am almost half way through and hooked on this story like an idiot.

So now, as soon as I post this, I am going to go put on my onesie, drink my cup of tea, and read…


And just in case you were curious, I found out that I passed my exams hence my over indulgence in reading when I should be doing other things, but its a special treat… and yes I am still smiling because I passed the exams and I don’t have to do them again! One step at a time?

The Road of Agent Hunting

Well, I figure I might as well continue this agent hunting talk.

So, I might as well confess; it has taken me a long time to have enough confidence to approach agents. On a personal level, well, I wasn’t the most confident of people, often described as shy or timid, it seemed like getting the confidence to approach an agent was something that might never happen.

Well, then something changed you say, yes it did, or to be specific, I did. I slowly have grown in confidence, enough at least to start agent hunting. Yes that valiant quest that occupies my mind.

It took a lot of time, and patience with myself to grow and nurture my writing and myself. The thing is, I have never ever doubted my stories. The doubt has never been placed in the stories. When I speak shyly about them, my doubt is placed in myself.

There is less doubt now, because well, if I can love these stories, and these stories came from me, they are worthy, and by extension I am worthy enough to present them and share them and expose them to the world enough. So now I am trying to do my best, for them, for the every secret and their every passion that ignited my own.