Yes I have them. I have two, I want more.

So, opinions? Yours? I don’t care. My opinion? Yes I care.

I have one on my wrist that is super emotionally significant to me. One on my hip, totally significant. I want to grow them, I want to develop them. They are more self expression. They are purely to make me happy.

But more recently my tattoo ideas and goals have been the pursuit of a positive happy significance. More about the own self empowerment reminders on my skin. Things that make me smile, or be happy, or are reminders of moments, symbols to a story that I told where there may be a scene represented in a single symbolic image of the story.

Its so much more complicated than that but I don’t want to sit here and tell you all about them or about me or my life or the story behind them or how I got them or what happened before, during and after I got them. I don’t want to worry about how they will look in years to come because that is something that is forever changing, I am for ever changing and the stories behind the tattoos, the stories that the tattoos can generate and explore, that is constantly changing despite the tattoos being permanent and not erasable they are changing. They are growing and changing and shaping me and who I am. They are reminding me to smile and be happy even for a second if I forget and surprise myself when I see that there is a tattoo on my skin, that’s another moment of happiness.

People should never judge or belittle someone else for being happy. Just let them be happy or make them happy for a moment. But most importantly if it doesn’t affect you its not your concern, just be happy in yourself and let me worry about my own happiness if you don’t like or agree with my tattoos. I love them. End of.

 

Well it is possible; I have been listening to a few Abraham Hicks lectures on youtube. Now at first when I first started to listen to those seminars in May, I thought “what is this silly bull crap?” So at first I just left them on in the background, and slowly I started to listen in and tune in every so often. It gave me a sense of calmness; it felt soothing to have playing in the background. And slowly the more I have listened to these seminars I have begun to see the sense in it. It’s a majority of things that I already knew and believed but now its in a place that’s not quite so personal.

I realised slowly that I have already been practicing a similar kind of thing; it was already working for me before I was introduced to these talks. So now my advice to my friends the more I am asked has become even better, because I was always right before but now, I am being more right in a much more positive way. I have lost that negative orientation and perspective and launch point I had with my last relationship that ended a few months ago.

Now months down the line? I feel 100 times better. At the time I was unable to really believe and have the faith I already had in my life the ability to bring the positive happiness to myself. I had given someone the power and control to my happiness. Well, now? My aim is always to try to bring in the positive happy feeling no matter what. To want something from a place of happiness and positivity and to live in a moment and to stop living in a place of what if, what if things go wrong? Who cares there is no wrong or right perhaps to say, but there is experience and things to move forward and live and learn from.

Well I guess that is pretty darn obvious. But still. ITS SUMMER!!!

Now, normally, I am the girl who stays pale, very pale, because I don’t really go out in the sun too much because the sun can be so strong it can really begin to hurt my eyes, but also considering that, I do get hay fever which I recently developed over the last few years, which is a little confusing. My mission this summer is to be a bit more active, to go out in the sun a bit.

But, I do still intend to wear sun cream with a high spf. I’ve recently been wearing more feminine clothes, a few more dresses and glimmers of a more girly nature. That’s not to say I haven’t kept some of my original elements of my mask, my protection. I still wear the accessories/ outfits in a way that is more comfortable to my nature. To be honest I don’t quite have much that can be spread into style because to me my style is so fluid at times I don’t want to commit to saying “Yes this is who I am” because who I am, its constantly changing.

I am constantly changing with every story, with every moment, with every chance encounter. So why can’t my style? My persepective?  My own personal energy?

For a first draft edit for example? Well it’s a pretty simple-ish process that I go through. Generally, I will change the font colour across the whole document to say blue initially. I will then go through the work bit by bit, I will colour a section (whether that’s a chapter or a paragraph) a second colour, generally red. Once the document is completed I will take break from it, perhaps give it to a friend for a quick scan through to see if they pick up on something totally obvious that I have missed. After a short time, once I have been distracted enough, I will return to it and take on any notes from the friend, I will also take on the whole document, hopefully with “fresh eyes” once more. I will then go through as before section by section with even more focus, more eagle eyed as I change the colours again. Now this process may be repeated a few times, and over time more friends will look at it with an increasingly critical eye.