Is it me, or are they always this wild? Like literally.

I have had some of the wildest dreams lately and the most terrifying nightmares.

To be fair most of my nightmares are about my childhood, teen years, growing up kind of thing. But also as an adult dealing with the removal of toxic influences. Like it all circles through the brain and gets processed.

But it’s not just dealing with real memories or things that are problematic the dreams can be utterly random. The cravings after some of them are bizarre.

Still, I think I have eaten way too much carbonara lately as cravings go.

Oh and the middle of the night leg cramps and trips to pee. Torture of the weirdest variety.

So yeah, any one else get absolutely bizarro pregnancy dreams?

I think I have literally slept or vomited through the 4 weeks gap. It would be a fairly accurate description.

Not much else to say.

Midwife appointment went ok. I’m feeling a bit more secure.

Oh almost passed out during the midwife appointment blood test though. Which is an escalation to my usual slight light headed-dizziness from a blood test to full on “I’m going to sit on the floor now because I feel real rough.” So there is that. Do with that what you will.

Emetophobia sucks. Still having anxiety attacks around puking. Hoping it goes away soon. New meds to try for the sick life so lets give those a decent try.

Some people have none at all, others super intricate.

I would love to know other peoples.

Mine personally looks like me sitting down with water or a nice warm cuppa tea and putting on some ADHD music to keep me focused.

There’s not much else to it. I write when I can for as long as I can because I don’t always know when the next time I will get to do this is. It does vastly all depend on my flare ups so I work with what I have.

What about you?

We had the scan.

They’re ok, doing great.

Obviously these posts are a little delayed hence the bunching up the announcement and 8 & 12 weeks just because I only recently had the brainwave to pop little things up here.

Breathlessness and nausea still reign supreme but the fatigue. I thought I had bad fatigue before. I don’t know how but this is worse. I could sleep all day and still wake up exhausted.

On the upside, can’t be asleep and nauseous at the same time? Small miracles.

Not sure there is more to say for todays post, I’ve become rather dull and sleepy as you can tell.

Sweet dreams

Ok so technically it’s week 4 by the time you find out.

Just like with the last one it was a bit of a challenge.

There was migraines that lasted days and a few trips to maternity just to get checked. All was healthy and happy and “normal” or whatever you want to use to describe it.

I think the challenge really came from the nausea. After having hyperemesis during the last pregnancy from start to finish and then of course gallstone attacks I developed Emetophobia. Which put simply is the fear of throwing up. So I had a fair few anxiety attacks from morning sickness. Went straight on meds and it looks like that is the only way to live an almost normal existence.

We tried to keep the news as quiet as possible while still trying to have a support network of immediate family as it was high risk wanting to keep things private was really important.

Even though kiddo knew. But that was a bit unavoidable she is smart as hell.

That’s the brief diary for ya.