.: Entry One-Hundred :.
My name is Elliot Parker, I’ve barely heard from Adrian in a long time, but that is ok I guess, it is time we all move forward. Things have been changing a lot recently.
I finally got the courage to be able to tell Dylan that I love him. So there we were sat cuddling on the sofa on our first official month together, and I managed to say it. “I just want you to know, I love you.” I guess part of me expected to hear something very Adrian like “I won’t ever be able to say that to you” or something like “I don’t feel that way” I don’t know if I even expected an answer. That didn’t happen though. He said “I love you too.” So obviously we kissed, who wouldn’t kiss at a moment like that.
Since then, it feels like I have been living a dream. I haven’t had time to think, I have literally just been living, we have gone on outings, managed to spend every free moment when we can be together, together.
We spent a whole week together and didn’t kill each other. Like in a way it was a great trial run to see if we have a future together and it really does seem very possible. I can’t believe how lucky I am; it just feels blessed.
I know it’s not necessarily that I am lucky, it is probably more that I am a deliberate creator and I wanted a wonderful life and that is exactly what is happening.
Dyl is showing me every day, without trying that he is exactly who I want to be around. He is incredible. I get a message at least once a day that makes me smile. He is unfailingly kind and I couldn’t imagine life without him now.
Sure I resisted the idea of us developing feelings for each other at first. But, I am so glad I caved, I love him. I didn’t think I would or could love anyone else again but here I am. In love with the sweetest man on earth. He is just such a naturally happy person. I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with him.
We’ve had quite a few serious talks over the last few weeks, starting with the traditional what can we picture together as a future together type conversation. Slowly it became a case of me asking, I am planning to save up for some things, I want to know, if I can, can we save for some things together to build our future together. What would we like to achieve together, what can we start working on together? That lead to us discussing the goals on the list, our financial realities. Safe to say this deliberate creator is working on becoming less resistant towards the incoming flow of abundance and money. That aside, we agreed on some goals to work on. We are both working on getting things sorted for next year, we want to live together when it is something we can financially feasibly afford. And I am sure that there will be a beneficial change to our income very soon, anything is possible and abundance flows freely towards us.
Right now I have one thing on my mind, seeing Dylan again really soon. I just want to spend a little stolen time together; things have been very crazy recently so getting some time together is always a golden opportunity.
However not all is good in my world. Clover. She is still refusing to be remotely supportive of the relationship between Dylan and myself. Since then, since our arguments and since I have been standing my ground and sticking up for myself a bit more there has been a distinct lack of communication between us. It bites at me simply because if this was the other way around she would expect the same support from me. Dylan isn’t a bad influence; he is a good guy who constantly finds ways to make me smile. He is incredible and she refuses to even meet him, it is one excuse after another. She doesn’t want to support the happiness from the way it looks. Dylan doesn’t constantly let me down. He and I are working on building a long term future together, I just had hoped I would have had her support. I would have liked for her to want me to be happy and not just say it but to mean it too. However, I think she might just need some time.
Given how long it has taken me to write this who knows, maybe next time I sit down to write “My name is Elliot Parker” she will have stopped being a thorn in the side of a happy life and begun being part of the garden that is blooming… I just hope she isn’t going to be a weed that needs up-rooting. I know that sounds drastic. But, in this life we have to protect our happiness and I don’t want a toxic energy still influencing my future and what I want to manifest. I want my friend back, in the good goofy sense. I want my friend that wants to hang out and mess around and be idiots with. I want my friend that doesn’t have to or want to only talk about boys with. I want my friend that I can discuss the important things with, like me talking to my dad again, things that big that are that huge and important and scary all at once. I want that friend where we help each other with any worries and share in each other’s happiness and try to build each other up. I just hope Clover is up for that step though, I keep trying and meeting a brick wall, so maybe one day I will get through to her, that or I will just walk away eventually. She is that love/hate friend sometimes, she is marmite.