The Diary of Elliot Parker

.: Entry One-Hundred :.

My name is Elliot Parker, I’ve barely heard from Adrian in a long time, but that is ok I guess, it is time we all move forward. Things have been changing a lot recently.

I finally got the courage to be able to tell Dylan that I love him. So there we were sat cuddling on the sofa on our first official month together, and I managed to say it. “I just want you to know, I love you.” I guess part of me expected to hear something very Adrian like “I won’t ever be able to say that to you” or something like “I don’t feel that way” I don’t know if I even expected an answer. That didn’t happen though. He said “I love you too.” So obviously we kissed, who wouldn’t kiss at a moment like that.

Since then, it feels like I have been living a dream. I haven’t had time to think, I have literally just been living, we have gone on outings, managed to spend every free moment when we can be together, together.

We spent a whole week together and didn’t kill each other. Like in a way it was a great trial run to see if we have a future together and it really does seem very possible. I can’t believe how lucky I am; it just feels blessed.

I know it’s not necessarily that I am lucky, it is probably more that I am a deliberate creator and I wanted a wonderful life and that is exactly what is happening.

Dyl is showing me every day, without trying that he is exactly who I want to be around. He is incredible. I get a message at least once a day that makes me smile. He is unfailingly kind and I couldn’t imagine life without him now.

Sure I resisted the idea of us developing feelings for each other at first. But, I am so glad I caved, I love him. I didn’t think I would or could love anyone else again but here I am. In love with the sweetest man on earth. He is just such a naturally happy person. I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

We’ve had quite a few serious talks over the last few weeks, starting with the traditional what can we picture together as a future together type conversation. Slowly it became a case of me asking, I am planning to save up for some things, I want to know, if I can, can we save for some things together to build our future together. What would we like to achieve together, what can we start working on together? That lead to us discussing the goals on the list, our financial realities. Safe to say this deliberate creator is working on becoming less resistant towards the incoming flow of abundance and money. That aside, we agreed on some goals to work on. We are both working on getting things sorted for next year, we want to live together when it is something we can financially feasibly afford. And I am sure that there will be a beneficial change to our income very soon, anything is possible and abundance flows freely towards us.

Right now I have one thing on my mind, seeing Dylan again really soon. I just want to spend a little stolen time together; things have been very crazy recently so getting some time together is always a golden opportunity.

However not all is good in my world. Clover. She is still refusing to be remotely supportive of the relationship between Dylan and myself. Since then, since our arguments and since I have been standing my ground and sticking up for myself a bit more there has been a distinct lack of communication between us. It bites at me simply because if this was the other way around she would expect the same support from me. Dylan isn’t a bad influence; he is a good guy who constantly finds ways to make me smile. He is incredible and she refuses to even meet him, it is one excuse after another.  She doesn’t want to support the happiness from the way it looks. Dylan doesn’t constantly let me down. He and I are working on building a long term future together, I just had hoped I would have had her support. I would have liked for her to want me to be happy and not just say it but to mean it too. However, I think she might just need some time.

Given how long it has taken me to write this who knows, maybe next time I sit down to write “My name is Elliot Parker” she will have stopped being a thorn in the side of a happy life and begun being part of the garden that is blooming… I just hope she isn’t going to be a weed that needs up-rooting. I know that sounds drastic. But, in this life we have to protect our happiness and I don’t want a toxic energy still influencing my future and what I want to manifest. I want my friend back, in the good goofy sense. I want my friend that wants to hang out and mess around and be idiots with. I want my friend that doesn’t have to or want to only talk about boys with. I want my friend that I can discuss the important things with, like me talking to my dad again, things that big that are that huge and important and scary all at once. I want that friend where we help each other with any worries and share in each other’s happiness and try to build each other up. I just hope Clover is up for that step though, I keep trying and meeting a brick wall, so maybe one day I will get through to her, that or I will just walk away eventually. She is that love/hate friend sometimes, she is marmite.

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Author Update (April 2018)

So yes, March felt like a pretty horrific month. It was hard to contend with emotionally and made writing nearly impossible. I have only done very little writing to be honest, so there isn’t much I can celebrate writing wise.

This month I turned a year older! I am now a little bit older and not much wiser! I had the most amazing birthday courtesy of my partner who has been incredibly patient with me after the last few weeks. He is an absolute rock. He took me to see the Phantom of the Opera in London for my birthday it was absolutely amazing, the cast were incredible it was perfect. The entire weekend was perfect. The only hitch in the perfect weekend was that I was very ill at the end of the actual birthday day. To be fair, it was incredible. Never had a birthday so good, so fun and so happy. It’s been wonderful.

So the binge watching on Netflix? Well, to be honest, I haven’t watched much, I haven’t really had much time to myself to sit down and watch something on Netflix other than keeping up with Shadowhunters, Once Upon a Time and Jane the Virgin.

Oh I almost forgot, the surprise for my partner for Easter… I made him an Easter egg hunt to surprise him on the day. He loved it… That was a brilliant day, lasagna for our dinner- he makes a great lasagna.

This month has been a bit chaotic and very expensive, so here is hoping that next month will be a little bit cheaper… A girl can only hope.

Nothing changes here in terms of throwing plugs in for my amazon books on my author page… I haven’t lost my hope just yet.

May luck and adventure be on your side!

ARA

xxx

Darling Daughters

Chapter Twenty- Five

 

It started subtly at first. After Summer’s birthday, Elizabeth would come home and find one or two of Summer’s school books left on the table. By the end of the week, the table was littered with books and notes. Occasionally she would find herself catching a rare glimpse of Summer buried under her mountain of books. Summer even kept herself buried away through the Easter break defending her hiding away in the mountain of books with the constant reminder of the impending doom known as exam time.

Elizabeth hadn’t minded too much, she remembered all of the days where she was absent from spending time with Summer when she had been buried in books herself. Elizabeth had taken a three-month intensive course recently, this course gave her something that would placate the family, she had finally graduated with the high school diploma.

Elizabeth hadn’t told Summer about her graduation, the only person who knew was the one who signed her up, Caroline. Elizabeth had been so afraid of failing that she never expected to pass. Now she had, she wanted to celebrate.

Caroline had started to give Elizabeth more responsibilities now that the course was over. Elizabeth was being rotated around all the aspects of running the bakery. One thing that Caroline had tested her with, was the secrecy around some orders.

***

Elizabeth had been working on a few orders recently, but today was Summer’s last exam. They had spent breakfast preparing Summer, not that she needed quizzing on her English paper, but it didn’t hurt.

Elizabeth had been working on the to do list Caroline had set her, a few hundred miniature graduation caps and diplomas made from fondant had to be made for all of the cakes, cupcakes and cookies that had been ordered. Continue reading

The Diary of Elliot Parker

.: Entry Ninety- Nine :.

My name is Elliot Parker and the room around me feels distorted. It is familiar as I begin to try to piece together where I am. It’s the room that changes, the one with the books. Except it is darker than I remember. There is no light. The books appear in and out of focus, but I can feel I am not alone here. There is a prickling sensation at the back of my neck, it no longer feels like the safe soft dream I remembered.

“I haven’t seen you in a while” his voice is just as distorted as the room. I would recognise it anywhere. Adrian. I turn to where his voice had come from but there is no one there.

“It’s been weird, hard to talk to you lately.” I choke on my words knowing how insufficient I sound.

“What do you expect?” He sounds cold for a moment before he speaks again, “you gave up on me.”

“It’s not like that.” I try to defend myself. “Ok, maybe it is, but you didn’t change like you promised. You didn’t exactly fight for me did you?”

“What if I did now? Would it make a difference?” Finally, I see him take his form in the room. The books stay absent now. Its bare shelves and just us in the room.

“Not really. It’s too little too late. How many chances did I give you?”

“Too many.” The silence hangs in the room for a while. “I miss you.”

“You too, you’ve been drinking again.” I say, I my voice feels cold now, almost disapproving.

“Yeah.”

“I’m not even surprised. Clover is still going to bat for you. She refuses to act like it’s a good thing I moved on. I wouldn’t take it as a testament to who you are, it’s selfish on her part.”

“Oh, cos of her obsession?”

“Pretty much. It sucks, it doesn’t change one thing though. You have been such an important part of my life, I just wish there was a way for you to understand just how much you have meant to me.”

“I know how you felt, I just took advantage and expected you to put your life on hold for me, wait around for ever.”

“To have your cake and eat it?” I remember the echo of the words I hear from a memory of Clover’s own words.

“Something like that, I never thought I would lose you.”

“You didn’t, I will always be your friend, but as for anything else, I think our time for that has passed.”

“I know. You are happy though? He makes you happy?”

“Very. Are you happy?”

“Remember what I said? Happiness is over rated. I’ll be fine.”

“Maybe one day we could have this conversation in the real world, I think our friendship isn’t exactly thriving is it?”

“It’s too soon.”

“You are the one who told me that we weren’t ever going to get back together, that we wouldn’t work out, you told me I should date people.”

“I didn’t mean it. I never thought you would actually date someone or move on.”

“You didn’t think it through did you?”

“Nope.” The book shelves begin to disappear, the room is becoming empty, like it is slowly being dismantled.

“The room? Is this the last time we will be here? It looks like it is falling apart.”

“That is because I am. I don’t know if we will ever be here again. But I am sure you can find some other way to entertain yourself in your dreams. You don’t need me anymore.”

I want to walk away, to leave the room but I am rooted to the spot, like I am held by some strange magnet and I can’t leave. “Really? You want to end this by trying to make me defensive? You want to end this dream by trying to start a fight? Come on you are better than that?”

“Am I? I am trying to keep our friendship going in the real world, but it feels like you aren’t interested.”

“You send me memes once every other week, your responses are dry, you never ask how I am doing, you never want to know what I have been up to. But you do like to go on about how much you’ve drunk, how messed up drunk you and your mates got, how you want to move out, how you feel about your job, about you wanting to go on another party holiday and get wrecked again. You aren’t interested in a friendship with me, you just want the emotional support you always got out of me, it feels like you expect more from me now that we are not having sex or hanging out. You’re still wanting me to behave like I did when we were together sometimes and now it is simply not appropriate.”

“Because of your new boyfriend.”

“Exactly why. I am in a relationship and I really care about him.”

“Do you love him?”

“Is that any of your business?”

“Just answer”

“Yes.”

“Like you loved me?”

“It’s different, he makes me feel different.”

“How?”

“He makes me happy, he shows me he cares, he makes an effort to try to make me smile or laugh anytime I don’t feel myself or happy. He wants me to be happy, and I want him to be happy. We work together in a way that you and I didn’t. He is a real team mate, when I think about him the world is brighter from the inside, like it’s a radiant kind of feeling.”

“I didn’t make you happy?”

“Not like this. You are very different people, I feel accepted for who I am with him, the good the bad and the hellish. I don’t feel like I have to try to keep being a better version of myself because with him I already feel like I am the best version of myself, and I feel loved for it.”

 

Darling Daughters

Chapter Twenty-Four

 

They rolled out of bed at eleven the next day. An achievement considering, they hadn’t gotten home until the early hours of the morning. The toasts and repetitive chant of “Promitto Memorari” still seemed to echo in their ears. There were many goodbyes to endure before they were allowed to leave. They had a weak night sleep. But Elizabeth had plans.

Elizabeth had been messaging Simon to find out if it was safe to bring Summer to the Diner for breakfast or if the preparations had already begun. Sadly, it was too late to take her to the Diner without her plans being discovered so she made breakfast.

It took a bit of persuasion to get Summer up and dressed. Thankfully Elizabeth found Summer too tired to argue too much. That started to change the more she woke up, the tea and breakfast had perked her up. Elizabeth told her to get her things, they were going to the Diner.

At the door, Elizabeth insisted Summer had to be blindfolded. Summer was reluctant, she felt stupid being pulled along slowly by Elizabeth. Who stopped just after stepping up onto a curb. Elizabeth undid the blindfold.

It took a moment for Summer’s eyes to adjust, the whole town was in the square, it was a huge party. Simon and a few chefs from the Ivy Rose Inn were working on a barbeque. Watching for a moment as Simon began to lose his temper as rubs, marinades and sauces were being pushed on his barbeque as the chefs took over everything he kept getting involved in.

Summer saw the pair of bouncy castles both with a sign dictating “shoes off”. One castle was designated for kids, the other, adults. Sure enough the children were jumping on a bouncy castle sporting primary colours. The grown-ups had purple, red and blue panels on theirs.

The village strangeling, Kingston kept yelling about his champion jumping. Much to Summer’s surprise both Matthew and Stuart were jumping on the castle trying to wind Kingston up by trying to do tricks.

Standing on the grass in front of the castle Thomas was yelling at them for jumping in the wrong way. Everyone continued to ignore Thomas. His face went red, then purpled before he stormed off.

Summer and Elizabeth were enjoying that magic moment. they looked around to find a paddling pool in the town gazebo with the mysterious flying candy overhead (which was a clever use of netting) with children running with butterfly nets trying to catch the candy.

The decorate your own cupcake stand was busy. The magician nearby kept making the cakes disappear. There was a small stage and sound system being set up in another corner. The other side had a movie being projected onto a large sheet.

There was a three legged race and bobbing for candy, but it wasn’t water that they had to contend with, it was jelly, and lots of it.

With the open bar providing the drinks. Summer and Elizabeth took a bottle of water and walked around looking at the silly competitions, games of pass the parcel which was interesting. An adults and child version. Summer would have loved to have swapped the parcels around.

Summer took a moment to realise what Elizabeth had done, again. She threw her arms around Elizabeth, it was perfect.

Summer dragged Elizabeth to the bouncy castle and began to try trick jumps just to annoy Thomas. They only paused to take a break to watch Simon explode from frustration at the barbeque station. He had a yelling fit before storming off to the bouncy castle that was empty. He struggled to climb up and balance for a few minutes finding his feet. He began bouncing like a mad man until his expression broke and fell into fits of laughter.

Elizabeth felt a surge of childish energy and took the opportunity to run at Simon and tackle him. Before long they had broken out into a game of chase on the bouncy castle that infuriated Thomas as it spread through the party.

Even as the sun went down the party continued. Although the children had disappeared and it became exclusively adults who had split into teams occupying corners of the party with buckets full of water balloons at their disposal before a session of karaoke before they began to call it a night and go to bed.