The 2019 Project

The New Years resolutions for 2019…. Tricky but I am sure I will enjoy making this list.

So this year it is pretty much self explanatory for the most part. I want to get a lot done this year and I think that the way some of my goals last year seemed so vague didn’t really help me much with being able to tick those goals off so lets see what I can do.

So 2019’s 24/7 goals:

24/7 Goals:

  1. Write one book
  2. See a west end show
  3. Write a second book
  4. Create/keep a writing schedule that works for me
  5. Keep working on arappleby.com
  6. Work with an agent/publisher
  7. Complete one knitting project
  8. Complete some crafting cross stitch project
  9. Keep doing daily positive aspects
  10. Complete one minor savings goal
  11. Get Christmas wrapped up early (ie. Halloween)
  12. Learn a new song on guitar
  13. Work on the schedule and make it work for this year
  14. Do another “on the fly” project
  15. Draw or sketch something to a point that you are happy with it
  16. Learn how to do winged eyeliner freehand
  17. Win the lottery
  18. Dress up and go out for an evening
  19. Buy a Kat Von D eyeliner
  20. Read five books this year minimum
  21. Get a tattoo (either finish one or get a whole new one)
  22. Create a budget that works really well
  23. Go ice skating at least once
  24. Enjoy 2019 as much as you possibly can!
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What do I hope to write in 2019?

Well, I am hoping to write a lot more about what is going on in my life. I want arappleby.com to be even more personal, I want to start adding some photos rather than just keep it all on Instagram. I want to use social media still alongside the website but I want the website to be my home from home… or my diary away from diary. I want to share some of my best days on here.

I want to write more of the Dollhouse project, I know book 1 was a pretty big challenge as it was. But I want to continue working on it.

I want to crack open the big project too. I want to really start with new eyes. I want to pick apart the mountain and really plan it in a new way. I want to really get my teeth into that first draft and really see where and what needs to be changed. I want to really push that definition.

I want to remain true to myself as a writer and part of that means working on how I write and that means I want to create a ritual. So I think a half hour cut out of the day to first meditate and get myself into a place where dreaming is allowed in a big way as long as my fingers hit keys. Then the second part of that half hour should be working on a plan for the day. What I want to set my word count at realistically. What is going to really help me write with focus. That means in that second fifteen minutes the computer is running, the playlist is pulled up to listen to. The work log spreadsheet is pulled up and minor updates are made. The next part of that ritual starts with a small warm up piece, maybe something minor if I have time and inspiration. If not, I start on whatever large task is on my list I am finding that approach is working best for me at the moment so I want to continue that.

I am hoping to add a third project into the mix as well as the dollhouse and the big project. I would like a small on the fly easy to write kind of project that has no real plans. That is how The Diary of Elliot Parker came about. It was always on the fly with no plot or plan. It was a fun piece to write. I am ready to have a new for fun writing project. I already really enjoy those big set projects but a place to exercise whim is something I am looking forward to… maybe something that’s not in the realms of fantasy like the others, something that hasn’t got vampires or magic or angels or demons or dragons or whatever. I would like to practice something I don’t do. Not historical though. I don’t much like the idea of playing with people I don’t know that actually existed in the real world. I tend to like being inspired by people I do know as characters or people I don’t know that I have never met or will ever meet that don’t exist in the real world.

Darling Daughters

So I know this should be Chapter Fourty-Three right here.

Here is the thing, it exists, it does. So does Chapter Fourty- Four and so does the epilogue. But I am not posting them on here. Sorry. The ending is being saved… So, I know the kindle book is released today and here is the link you need to get it.

 

 

I know it’s kind of a mean thing to do, saving the ending for the book, but, by buying the book, you get the whole thing collectively to read in one place and I get a teeny tiny share of the “profit” from amazon. I know this is a largely free site and I often post books here chapter by chapter and give you the option to buy all the posts/chapters collectively on amazon at the end of the project sometimes with a sneak peak at what is coming soon to the website. But I want you to know, that when you do buy from amazon, I do appreciate it, and truth be told, I get a bit giddy, happy, excited because then I know you really liked it.

I know writing is kind of a weird thing, like, I write and I don’t always get feedback right away. I know I have a couple of well appreciated test readers for major projects. But I would like to have a more interactive experience as a writer, that is why I have linked up my facebook and my twitter, so that there is the option for a wee bit of dialogue.

Writing can be lonely, stressful and at times heartbreaking; but that is not all writing is to me. That is why I post here, it’s why I am still pushing and pursuing The Big Project. It is something I believe in. It is escape and it is freedom and it is home. I want to share the worlds I create that make me happy with others. That is how and why this site exists. That is how and why I write, with not only me and how I feel in mind, but how I want to share these worlds with you.

So I just want to say a huge thank you and hope you will accept my appreciation and gratitude for your reading my website and my books, and buying them too. I want you to know that I greatly appreciate you.

 

 

For those of you wanting to get your hands on the ending… here is the pre-order link for Darling Daughters! Releasing 22nd August 2018

 

Darling Daughters

Chapter Forty-Two

 

Summer had been avoiding Elizabeth a little bit, Summer had been avoiding everyone. So when she snuck into Grimeston for this year’s winter festival, Cassandra gave her away a bit. She headed straight towards the bakery’s stall for a dose of sugar. Cassandra had fallen in love with Grimeston and its sugary bakery treats that Summer would return to campus with. Cassandra had even found a genuine love for the town.

Summer had agreed to cook the Christmas dinner as long as she had nothing to do with decorating and so on. It hadn’t escaped Simon’s notice when he saw Summer with Cassandra at the bakery stall that she hadn’t brought William with her. He hadn’t returned her call or text so she left things with radio silence.

Summer helped out on the bakery stall while Cassandra walked around the festival, she was quieter than usual. Her smile was half warm when she first arrived to help out. By the end of the evening she had taken on the warm hum of the town, even if a small dark cloud rained over her.

***

Christmas day was hectic, messy, and wonderful. The odd awkward moment. Summer had ignored her phone all day leaving it on her bed at the sixth missed call. She spent most of the day fussing in the kitchen. Cassandra did her best to help, though Simon kept trying to interfere. It was refreshing to finally find something that Cassandra was rubbish at.

Summer had been ignoring her mother’s calls and texts all day, she had been ignoring her since Thanksgiving not wanting anything to do with the sense of betrayal she felt. The one text made her pause, it was from William, Summer was in no mood to read it. It seemed a bit insufficient “sorry hun, been busy, what’s up?”

***

New year had brought the town back into a celebratory mood which had even touched Summer. Cassandra answered Summer’s phone when she was in the shower, it was William, Cassandra had seen enough of Summer moping and told him where they would be for the celebrations. “You better not mess her around again.” In her perfect matter of fact tone that could change the world.

Cassandra put the phone back on the bedside unit and sat nonchalantly on the bed when Summer entered. They got ready for the town’s open party finally building enough layers that kept them warm and looked cute. The plan was to enjoy the bonfire. Which reflected light in all directions, the Christmas decorations, and the gazebo filled with sparkling edible bats and ghosts thanks to Summer and Elizabeth. It infuriated Thomas but the town loved it.

A few minutes to midnight and Elizabeth and Simon had walked off to get hot chocolate talking about the tradition of the midnight kiss. Cassandra had even found herself chatting with Zach, each holding a steaming cup of mulled wine. Summer stood watching the fire when a familiar voice appeared behind her. William was there. Her heart leapt for a moment before she remembered how mad at him she was. She turned and walked towards the manner abandoning the warmth of the bonfire.

“Summer stop! Wait!”

“Why?” Summer hadn’t stopped she carried on walking but her voice carried over her shoulder.

He grabbed her by the wrist, she spun around and tried to wrench herself free. “Stop it, I won’t hurt you.”

“Do you not think maybe you had already?”

“Summer…” he released her wrist, “I didn’t mean it, when I said we should get some space, I didn’t… I thought it was what you wanted, what you needed.”

“I needed you to be there.”

“I wanted to be.” Summer shook her head and turned again, “please Summer. Don’t walk away.”

“Like you did you mean?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” she carried on walking towards the manner. This time he ran after her and came to a slipping stop in front of her.

“Summer” the crowd began the countdown he looked over her shoulder for a second, “Summer I love you.” The crowd reached the end of the countdown and began to shout “Happy New Year” and he kissed her. she fought him away for a moment, still processing what he had just said. When the kiss ended she didn’t want it to stop.

Pulling away again Summer spoke at last, “happy New Year, you jerk.”

“Ouch, happy New Year to you too. Do you want to maybe, go get some hot chocolate and watch the rest of the fireworks?”

“Fine… Yeah, let’s go.” Summer took a deep breath when he took her hand, she still felt unsteady, from her chest radiating from her body. She just felt weak in that moment. “You love me? Did you mean that or…?”

“I mean it; you were right I was acting like a jerk. But so were you.”

“I know, I apologised.”

“I know you did, I just I kept acting like a jerk because it was easier.”

“Easier than what?… Easier than admitting it hurt?”

“Yup.”

“Let’s skip the hot chocolate, let’s go back to the manner, I have a bottle of whiskey we can share.”

“You are definitely the girl who stole my heart.”

“Calm down, it’s just a glass of whiskey.” Her smile turned into that cheeky grin and she sighed as she walked a little way ahead enjoying that moment of feeling in that flirty mood.

 

 

For those of you wanting to get your hands on the ending… here is the pre-order link for Darling Daughters! Releasing 22nd August 2018

The Diary of Elliot Parker

.: Entry One-Hundred and Fifteen :.

My name is Elliot Parker and I just recently decided it’s time to end the negatively impacting cycle that is my relationship with Clover. Things with her have gone from bad to worse and I just can’t keep letting any shred of happiness be continually tainted. I want to protect and increase my happiness. I shouldn’t have to be fighting to stay happy. I have the motivation I needed all along. I want to live my best life. I want to feel my best and feel free and I want to keep the promise to myself that I can do and be anything I want.

I wrote a list recently, a list of all the things I want, all the things I am ready to achieve and move towards. However, that comes about is up to how I allow it into my life. So here is that list again, my motivation.

I want my own home.

(This will take time, I don’t doubt, but I am ready for it, I know what kind of thing I am wanting and what it will be like.)

I want to get better at my hobbies.

(This is the thing that is the most fun. Slowly I am increasing the me time to put into the things I enjoy doing. I am putting the energy into it again like I did when I first started. The energy that when I first began lead to a little bit of an obsession. Having put the thought and the effort in I am now trying to work out when and where I can squeeze some more time out of my day to think about it or do it or work on it. That is the fun part, making that effort in my day to really focus for a moment on what I am doing and achieving day to day, and sure it isn’t always every day because sometimes I get too tired. But I love that I have developed a little more focus, so in time the being better will come effortlessly, it won’t be so hard anymore.)

I want to lose weight easily and effortlessly.

(Well as you saw in my last post that is already happening, a week in and even with the smallest of nothing tweaks to my habits that is happening. I like that I am even starting to get a little more energy as I get used to the small changes.)

I want to learn to drive.

(Well that might take a few years or a lottery win, but I know one day I will do it.)

I want freedom and to enjoy my abundance.

(Well, I am already, for the first month in a while I have a tiny bit of money left at the end of my pay check, which is unusual. But I know as I go into the next few months, it is likely to get a little bit tighter. But that is ok because I have prepared for it and I am ready to move forward and past it.)

I want to write something that really makes a difference on here (or wherever really I guess? All kinds of things could happen).

(So this one is a bit open to interpretation. But I think, even knowing when to end a toxic friendship counts as making a difference, even if it is only to my life. There is no harm in pursuing what makes me happy, there is no harm in writing how I really feel and then working out how to fix something or feel better about it.

I want to keep enjoying a steady income.

(So far so good, I am working consistently even if I don’t always enjoy work, I enjoy this and that is something. The steady income is enabling me to keep my head above water at the moment.)

I want to enjoy my income.

(Well, as part of my diet motivation I set myself some rewards so that is about to become a thing I get a couple of prizes for my diet achievements… and as added motivation I have found a swimsuit I want. I can just about get in it now, I am going to lose some weight so I actually look good in it when I next try it on… next pay check that suit is mine…)

I want to build up my ability to really just create my life effortlessly.

(Well, I’ve created a few good days at work. I’ve created some fun and freedom and some effortless encounters. Some results here and there. Some good time with Dyl and some lovely dinners.)

I want to wear that beautiful blue dress I got in the sale a few years ago that I have never worn.

(Well, there is a fair bit I need to lose to get there but I will I know it won’t be a long weight either.)

I want a family of my own.

(Now is a bit too soon to be working on that one, but I am happily building a steady foundation with Dyl.)

 

Looking at the list like that and seeing where I already am with that is great. I think that although having this motivation is great, I think it is coming to time where I am just so ready to live it and I can’t wait to be enjoy the reality.

As I walk away from Clover something tells me she won’t even notice or care and that is ok, leaving quietly is better than leaving with a bang. I want the best life for her, but I think right now it is important I live the best life I can for myself. I can’t change her and I don’t want to, it’s not my job. My job is my happiness and making my life positive. I have tried making the friendship I had with her more positive but whatever I tried didn’t work so now it’s time to give up on that and invest in the relationships that are willing to grow in positive ways.

 

So The Diary of Elliot Parker will release very soon… so here is the Pre-Order link for Ninety-One to One hundred and Twenty!  Releasing 22nd September 2018

Or if you want the whole collection in one neat and tidy book, here is the Pre-Order link for the Complete Collection! Releasing 13th October 2018