Ok so technically it’s week 4 by the time you find out.

Just like with the last one it was a bit of a challenge.

There was migraines that lasted days and a few trips to maternity just to get checked. All was healthy and happy and “normal” or whatever you want to use to describe it.

I think the challenge really came from the nausea. After having hyperemesis during the last pregnancy from start to finish and then of course gallstone attacks I developed Emetophobia. Which put simply is the fear of throwing up. So I had a fair few anxiety attacks from morning sickness. Went straight on meds and it looks like that is the only way to live an almost normal existence.

We tried to keep the news as quiet as possible while still trying to have a support network of immediate family as it was high risk wanting to keep things private was really important.

Even though kiddo knew. But that was a bit unavoidable she is smart as hell.

That’s the brief diary for ya.

Not sure I ever mentioned it here before. However before the end of last year it was officially diagnosed after repeated tests and not feeling quite right.

Honestly, sometimes it is just a relief to have an answer.

I got referred to a gynaecologist who told me that I should loose some weight. Fair do, it was not long after Christmas and I had just started a new diet thing. Which in itself was a challenge. But yes it is something that needs to be worked on.

Weight is something I have struggled with for years thanks to other health conditions and flare ups sometimes I can honestly struggle beyond what I am willing to admit to myself, to just get through a basic day. So naturally weight piles on.

The problem with the gynaecologists recommendations came about a week or so after that appointment. Then it became unsafe to consider loosing weight at that point, intentionally at least.

So one week later cycle erratic as hell as PCOS often makes it, I took a routine test. Wouldn’t you know after being told I probably wasn’t even ovulating, there were two pink lines on that test strip, and the following five I took afterwards thinking it was some kind of practical joke or faulty test.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It’s wanted. I mean timing is a bit funny considering I was on a diet diet and had all these plans. But plans changed in the best way.

It was unexpected I just thought it was a late one and I was just being paranoid taking a routine test. Little did I know.

Well its not much of a post but just a question. Do you celebrate spoopy season at all?

I know Halloween has all kinds of meanings to people so I am just wondering what it is you do to celebrate it or not?

The weather here is getting wilder and colder and we’ve had plenty of horizontal rain already so it makes me curious about autumn for everyone else.

The quick snack of this week is cheese puff pastry pinwheels. Quick, easy and I don’t have to make the pastry, I alternate the cheese in sections between red Leicester and edam and kiddo loves them. What’s your falling for fall treat?

So, coming to the realisation I cannot keep this posting schedule up at the moment for the foreseeable I have had to make the decision to decrease the amount I will be posting from October as life is about to get in the way.

So part of dealing with a dynamic disability means learning when and how to advocate for myself and right now, I need to slow down with even making the short posts on here. Not that I can be certain anyone reads them.

But even if I am talking to the void sometimes, that is ok.

It’s taken a lot to admit defeat, not that it is defeat, it’s just trying to take care of myself and put my needs first. So I will be posting when I can and less when I feel the pressure that I should.

Well… Ok I don’t normally update this frequently about projects, but I have been making some tough decisions with this story.

First of all I have ripped away all notion now of doing it as duology, I am instead making it a stand alone book.

So what is the plan?

Obviously smush both books together cutting words where needed. Also I have decided to change some of the “in between book 1 ending and book 2’s middle” so to speak. The general vibe and outcome are still very much the same as my original plan, however I have chosen to pair down the complexity and alter some outcomes.

I mean ultimately my intent is to have it concluded with wiggle room on the off chance I ever decide to revisit it.

Whether I want to or not is another story all of its own.

I fully intend to query this book. I hope it will work out. I will update here where possible. However I make no promises there will be much to update. I have a feeling real life is about to take over.