Honestly?

It’s a combination. Partly because physically and mentally it takes a lot out of me so I try to do small bursts.

But also because I have a short attention span and this little bite size bunch of words every so often is a lot easier for me to manage than having to write a thousand or more words. If I am going to write that much I want it to be words spent on my books. Either THE BIG PROJECT or PROJECT: MAC.

It really is that simple. To be honest I try to do these when I remember which isn’t exactly often.

Priorities with writing tend to start and stop brain power levels at working on the books. Anything beyond that is generally what I consider to be a miracle.

It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that my energy comes in short waves and I have to decide carefully where it goes. My spoonie self has to find a way to prioritise.

Why I thought I’d remember to explain that sooner.

So… Take the old TV show Charmed and smush it together with Shadowhunters and we aren’t far off in vibes.

It follows a FMC who is considered neutral on the power scale having to secure an alliance. Her species want an alliance with good. The MMC however is scheming to have her make the alliance with him (evil).

Did I mention he’s kinda hot?

Anyway I am enduring creating the first proper draft to work on editing and to be honest, there are some parts of it I don’t hate. Actually some of them I love.

It’s a completely different feel to THE BIG PROJECT. That’s ok. I think this probably would be more up an agent’s alley as far as debut’s go.

It will be a Romantasy. Lots of fantasy and a MMC that is a total SIMP and we love him for it.

Highly likely to be a duology doubtful I would ever want to make it a trilogy.

At the moment I am really enjoying this story and the pacing. I’m probably just over two thirds through the first draft so there could be a lot of changes in it’s future.

I am taking a much bigger conscious effort to avoid the white room syndrome. The imagination is having to work harder with words to describe what I see so that I don’t loose it in translation onto the page so we will see.

Ok so…

Step one- feel guilty for not writing in ages

Step two- fill out a scrap of paper with a goal for the writing session

Step three- dawdle on social media

Step four- remember I should be writing

Step five- put ADHD focus music on

Step six- open the documents and notes

Step seven- question life choices

Step eight- write for as long as the brain can be functional

Step nine- beat myself up for not writing more

Step ten- save docs and nope out.

My imperfect routine. Although question life choices may reoccur a lot more.

So… What’s the deal with that?

Well I queried far too early with a project that I am far too passionate about.

But for an idea of vibes for anyone who is interested…

Remember the BBC shows: Merlin, Robin Hood, and Wolfblood?

Mix that with vibes of: When The Moon Hatched by Sarah Parker, The Bridge Kingdom by Danielle L.Jensen, and that voice of the Valkyrie by Kate Heartfield.

That’s roughly what I am serving up with multiple lives, multiple POV’s and a slowly emerging magic system that will grow as the project goes on.

That said after a short and impatient flurry of querying I have decided to take a break from the trenches so I can refocus on something else. I’ll call it Project: MAC for now.

I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise if my posts become more sporadic for the rest of this year. Got some major life changes on the way and I will have my focus divided otherwise. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just sometimes priorities change.

I can’t be the only one who finds draft one, even with extended plot notes, the bane of life. It’s trying to get those first words on paper without them being entirely terrible right?

Wrong.

It doesn’t have to be perfect it just needs to exist.

That’s what I have to keep telling myself.

But that doesn’t seem to stop my brain from desiring the finished result, all polished and beautiful from being right in front of me.

But why skip the creation? Why allow the passion to be smothered by impatience. There is no shame in slowing down to enjoy the creation of something that comes from your mind and heart.

Art must be created, felt, enjoyed, chased, pursued at every possible moment.

I write because it heals my soul. It helps me feel in a way that is safe. I owe it to my writing, to the characters to take the time, to slow down, enjoy ever chapter I can.

I suppose in a way it’s like having kids, if you’re always looking at where you are going you miss where you are at. I don’t want to do that. Not with any first draft. Even if it is word vomit. It is still there to work with. You can’t edit a blank page, you can’t let that story live in your head alone forever either.