You would think this would be all about actual orchids, but no. It is about my nana. Something you may not know about my nana is that she has a magical touch with orchids. She is the green fingered member of the family, unlike myself, I can’t even keep a cactus alive.

But I wanted to write this because, I am so very very proud of my nana. She may not believe it or realise it all the time, but I appreciate her being there for me. We don’t always get along and we bicker sometimes, but we still have a great relationship. Over the last couple of years we have really bonded since I’ve been living here.

I don’t know if it is a generational thing but she can go about things in a very inefficient way and that is normally the main cause for disagreements.

I am really lucky, she has good intentions, she does things for the right reasons mostly which means at the heart of it we get along. She is a good person, and I know we don’t always agree but she does have the best intentions.

So right now, being sat opposite her, munching on her sausage rolls with a cuppa tea while she watches bargain hunt I wanted to really remember this, this normality and stability that she has brought into my life. Something I didn’t have before, not when I lived with mother. But I appreciate her.

For Christmas, I got a shelf unit to help tidy up the kitchen to make some more space that I am sure she will fill with her kitchen gadget addiction to frustrate me. But for her birthday even though I am giving it very early, is a microwave that’s green because, it is after all, her favourite colour… my green fingered nana.

I hope she realises just how much she means to me and how much I want her to be happy and have a happy life even if that means tea and bargain hunt.

If I was smarter, I would have been way more organised than I have been.

This time last year all the non-perishables would have been ordered and delivered by now. To be honest, all the non perishables were delivered in November last year, then the next delivery was the weekend before in December. Last year I think I felt more pressure to be organised. I knew what the plan for Christmas was last year well in advance. This year there has been a lot of confusion around where and when everyone is and wants to be organised for.

Still this idea of budgeting Christmas is something I need to be smarter about.

I started Christmas shopping early on as you know, but that was just presents. It’s now time to really think about the food and the cold of winter and really being ready.

I used my nectar double up during the promotion for something that was needed- Pillows for at the other half’s, his were knackered and needed replacing.  I started keeping an eye on nectar.com to increase my odds of finding “vouchers” to boost my nectar points earnings, though this year I have dipped in and out of my nectar points. I want to save them up properly next year and then use that double up scheme next year.

Looking for good deals and ways to save money in the weeks leading up to it, working out ideas of what we need rather than what we want is another way to save money, get the needed and not the fun stuff unless there is room in the budget at the end for it.

This year is going to be a bit chaotic over Christmas. I am looking forward to the time off but trying to be efficient with my budget is where things are going to be trickiest. So the plan is boring necessities, followed by traditional necessities followed by fun. That being said, I am aiming for more of the no thrills basics to bolster some of the order. Brand names aren’t majorly important. I don’t want to buy non-perishables in store for one reason… I don’t want to carry them, so ordering online is my best option, the perishables can be dealt with later.

Note to self, next year, be more organised… Oh maybe I can make a notebook and fill out the stages and shopping lists and be able to share it all with you. That would be more helpful than suggesting going online, working out the shopping lists.

Yeah… No… Not yet.

See that is one thing that is starting to get a bit annoying. People keep asking whether the other half and I have set a date.

No we haven’t.

The thing is we won’t until we are living together.

I am however leaning towards winter, its a nice romantic season, cuddling up doesn’t sound like such a bad thing in winter. Getting married in a cuddle season sounds like a great idea. Especially given winter tends to be cheaper. But the idea I have in my head is fluffy blankets, fairy lights for lighting, nice warm drinks like hot chocolate. Hogwarts at Christmas kind of magical vibes. No fluorescent over head lighting, no massive chandeliers, just lots and lots of fairy lights everywhere, and electric tealights to reduce fire risks. but that sort of romantic lighting vibe. Very soft. A little sparkle. That softness. I would love to just have one of those romantic kind of things.

I would say in an ideal world, have it somewhere where we can see the northern lights, if that was possible to orchestrate. But sort of magical and happy kind of vibe.

As for a dress? I have two very different ideas in mind that I will need to try one day. It just depends on what one feels right.

There is plenty of time between now and setting the date to think about it.

Mind you, it has been for months.

Nothing says Christmas like family stresses and strains.

I don’t know where I will be or what I will be doing but I am sure I will be confused at some point.

I don’t really feel like dealing with the drama revolving around my mother, I do my best to stay out of it, stay out of her orbit, attract as little attention as possible. Christmas just feels like it is going to stress me out and make me angry this year, not to do with my other half or anything like that, but to do with her. She is stress personified in my eyes.

I think I might have some work to do to be able to find a sense of peace about this. There is a lot that I want and need to do that doesn’t involved being stressed…

The one thing I do love about Christmas though is seeing the town lit up and glowing, even if it is a bit of a dump. I love the idea of the magical twinkle of fairy lights.

I can’t wait to decorate for Christmas with my other half, its going to be so much fun to see his face when I give him his pre-Christmas present… because I have a feeling I might spoil him a bit. But he has had a tough few weeks, he deserves some silly happiness. He is incredible and funny and I am sure he will be happy. Plus decorating for Christmas is one of the very few things I enjoy, because I can be crazy and silly, especially with him and it is brilliant.