Overthinking about overthinking

Posted on by April-Rose Appleby

Yeah I know! IT is a vicious cycle. But I got myself into it some how. Well of course I did. I started to question the motivation for me learning guitar. And I discovered a small dark tiny corner of reasoning that blossomed and grew under my observation. By learning guitar I would be keeping busy. Working hard and focusing on something else. Something out side of the stories I write and worlds I create. A way to try to stem the over thinking by changing my focus.

Focus. That is really what it comes down to.

It is easy to focus on something good or bad with enough attention it will gain momentum. That is something I want to prevent. Negative momentum. I am certain I am not the only one. But I am certain that it is pretty hard to be positive all of the damn time. We all get into our own vicious cycles. Dreams, day dreams, thoughts and words.

I remember seeing something a while ago. Be careful about what you think about, your thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become character.

Well that can either teach you kindness or cautiousness.

I keep telling myself that if I want to be happy then I should focus on what makes me happy. But I am sure I am not the only one out there that thinks that, that can sometimes be the hardest thing to achieve.

I didn’t expect positive thinking to feel so overwhelming and hard at first. I can’t be the only one. So I thought about what if I try to break it down into more manageable chunks like I do when I am story writing.

What is the major problem I face when I over think? 

Well, it’s not very nice. It makes me feel quite insecure because the spiral is not always one that feels great. It can drain energy from me like a dementor drains happiness.

Over thinking, well, it happens to the best of us, often late at night. So can I train these misguided thoughts?

I want to say yes, because I want to believe that I can. It shouldn’t be too hard to be able to train my thoughts, if I can train a dog I can train my thoughts. If I can train a dragon… Well obviously I am a fantasy writer.

And that is step one for me, no not being a fantasy writer, but believing that I can do it. Each little step at a time.

What happens next?

Posted on by April-Rose Appleby

Now that it is over. Counting Corvids has met its end!

Honestly as I am writing this, I AM EXCITED.

But that is not all this is always a scary process for me. Not knowing and not being prepared for this moment: when the story is over.

Just like when I write the first draft of something or when I read something. That gut sinking “oh” moment when you read those last words and I sit there and think “oh, ok, so erm, what do I do now?”

A fantasy when it is over, a story, a book, a page, it leaves you looking at the reality around you and it all looks a little duller. The world inside your head had changed and imagined all these words as things and people and now? Now it is over and how dare the fantasy be over. And you can imagine further on but you know its fruitless because this part of the world, of the day dream, the story it is not one you were invited to. That is how it feels to write.

Writing and reading, they are hand in hand.

Perhaps that is the best way I can describe reading a story for me. I am invited by a character (thanks to the author) to go and explore their world and their emotions and see the world through their eyes. It is an invitation into imagination.

I love it. I love reading a good book and escaping. I love writing something and escaping. I love the worlds that create and grow around you as the words blossom and the world (the reality) fades away.

I am honestly, so very grateful and so very happy to be able to live in these other worlds. To have that chance, the loves, the passions and the ferocity and strength. Nothing compares.

I get so excited by these things that I would gush for hours about the passion that comes from this imagination and writing. If I accidentally go on an excited rant about writing believe me I do stop when I catch myself. I know not everyone wants to know how passion can flow from writing, not everyone is comfortable around unbridled excitement and passion and that is ok.

Everyone is different. Everyone interprets anything how they want to see it. That is fine. I write with a kind heart and no ill intentions, just like how I speak. I try to at least.

So from here and my little rant about writing? What happens now that the final chapters of Counting Corvids have been posted? We will have to wait and see 😉

Oh and just to be cheeky here is the link for Counting Corvids…

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GEBKVUM

Author Updates (July 16)

Posted on by April-Rose Appleby

Hiya!

So there won’t be much focus on this post today, I’m a bit distracted writing this, but here goes…

 

There are a few quotes about writing that I both like and struggle with…

“You own everything that ever happened to you.”

“If people wanted to be written warmly about they should have behaved better.”

“Never wrong a writer, they get their revenge in print.”

 

All superb quotes. All very hard to live by. Writing is challenging, it can make you vulnerable.

Life makes you vulnerable.

 

This month has been riddled with procrastination at its best. I’ve been procrastinating even though the editing has been strenuous. I am learning guitar (a month and a half in)! Which is hard but fun and my left hand fingers look gross at the finger tips.

And the worst part. I lost a friend. Not like she died. But that she chose to keep her life in a toxic place and I couldn’t think of any way to try to help her (I’ve tried so many times, so many ways) so I tried to shock her into taking action (about her happiness) and it didn’t work how it hoped it would have. I gave her an ultimatum. But she then made things worse by choosing to see how it goes with the toxic side of her life rather than try to fix the rift. So of course when I walked away from the situation she decided to make herself look like a victim in the situation at my hands rather than keep it amicable and clean as a friendship break up. She went from talking about me on social media to actively messaging and calling people to say how I am rubbish.

It is sad that it had to go that way. This is the only place I have and will make a comment on it, the breakdown sucks. But there is little I can do when someone has made their choice twice.

I just want her to know I hope that she gets what she needs, truly gets what is needed. I hope she has a happy life.

 

That aside. I know mentioned I am editing, yup, I sure am. I am hoping to find an agent or publisher to be able to get this story onto some tangible paper!

I am getting ready to prepare something exciting on here too so don’t worry something new and exciting is coming… keep popping in and I might tell a little more next time.

I have spent hours trying to avoid procrastination by writing. I am sure I am not the only one who finds procrastination something that writers would get an olympic gold for. I’ll collect my medal later.

So its been just over a month and a half since I started to learn guitar… So I am sure that there is a little curiosity. I know and can execute the 9 major chords (A, C, D, G, E, E minor, A minor, D minor) as well as a couple of others. What songs have I been learning in my beginner-ness? Get Back- Demi Lovato, Nightingale- Demi Lovato, Slow Down- Selena Gomez, Halo- Beyonce, and the tabs for Shouldn’t Come Back- Demi Lovato.

So while it has been a weird suckish month in some aspects, in others, my god its been wonderful!

I went to a concert with my bro Harry recently- It was awesome! We went to Hyde Park, we saw Pharrell Williams perform and Stevie wonder. The food was good. The freebies = awesome. The atmosphere was the best thing about it, there was such a great vibe going on!  I have learned something by saying yes to going, just follow a good vibe and impulse. It has been awesome to hang out with such positive people.

It is always important to hang around positive energies for certain.

So I want to keep doing more impulse yes moments!

May luck and adventure be on your side!

ARA xxx

Counting Chapter Thirty Cheeky Extras

Posted on by April-Rose Appleby

Choice

Well that is a bit of a trick. There is rarely ever a true choice, an unpredictable choice. That is the thing, when the choice, the decision is made, it boils down to instinct. What is the instinctive reaction to the environment?

What does it promote? The good or the evil in the world.

Choosing to act on either level is a huge commitment.

The link to purchase the full story on amazon… Due for release on the 26th of August… PRE ORDER NOW 🙂

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GEBKVUM

Author Updates (June 16)

Posted on by April-Rose Appleby

Hiya!

Hope all of you are doing well. I know, I know I am naughty this should have gone out yesterday… But I went out :O I know!

 

Well… Whats been happening this month?

I’ve been procrastinating even more. I have a lot to do, the worst part is I don’t know how or when I will get it done.

I have managed to start doing some degree of editing/writing this month, not as much as I would like but it is all slow progress. A change in postcode has meant settling in has been the main priority.

I’ve almost learned my first song on guitar, I chose to learn “Nightingale” by Demi Lovato. I thought it would be nice and easy… Turns out my fingers don’t agree… I am learning though.

I have to say, the highlight of this month? No it wasn’t the food festival, it was seeing my bestie Harry and his mum. It was great to hang out with fellow writers and bounce ideas about improving the work and the ideas around writing. It created a good degree of momentum for knowing what I want to do.

We went to this place called Dotty’s Tearoom. MY gosh it was cute! And I felt like a lady, which for me, we all know isn’t the traditional association for me.

I am still developing a massive idea that has plagued me the last 6 years. I thought I had reached the point where I felt ready to write the first segment of the story… oh boy was I wrong. The overall arch has grown, I feel like I have plotted a drop in the ocean. Yup, that is exactly how it feels.

Oh I’ve also been working on some lyrics.

Been chatting to a few awesome people, having a little social life as I adjust.

Sadly not finished any knitting projects recently. Maybe in time.

Trying to find a way to be effective and proactive and not at all procrastinate from writing.

Oh I brought two new books I have promised myself I am allowed to read only if I finish editing the current thing on my edit tray. I should really work on splitting that reward into two so that I get even more motivation to pursue the next idea I have for here. I’m getting there though. However slowly.

But it is getting better.

I apologies for the late release of this months author update.

May luck and adventure be on your side!

ARA xxx