dollhouse

Carpe Noctem

Posted on by arappleby

Chapter One: Leianna

“Trova you have to be careful.” The words ring in my ears, the name rings in my ears. The name I have heard before, so many times, the echo in my ears throughout my entire life, the name, the girl I cannot shake. The girl I must shake. The girl I am told is meant to be better than me, no that is not the word. The girl who is meant to be good, to be pure, to be raised and blessed. Practically an angel on earth. Then there is me, her own personal counter balance. Today I will meet my own nemesis or so I am told. So it has been planned and schemed for me. I have to go meet the girl who has been the other side of my life that I have never met, an illegal bond. I am about to become the anomaly. Someone’s own personal nightmare or so I am told. For I am the unworthy one… or at least compared to her and them, I will be.

“Good morning my princess.” My mother greats me with that smile of hers, so sharp but charming all at once. She is in a good mood, a bit prickly, that wouldn’t be considered unusual if it wasn’t for that nervous glance at me when I sit down at the table. A huge breakfast is put before me. “It’s a big day for you.” Like I could forget with the weight of her smile.

“Let her eat in peace dear, she will do what needs to be done.” My father’s words are heavy this morning; I know what I have to do. Turning another soul dark, but not just that, turning mine permanently. I have twenty-four hours to set my soul on a course for the rest of my natural life. Not just my own soul either, it is not just my soul the darkness is calling for, it wants her too. The name that haunts my life. Trova faces the same twenty-four-hour window to set her soul on course for the rest of her natural life. That is if she knows, just because I am aware of what I am.

Finally, I speak “If she is unaware then it will be easy.” I try to sound confident stuffing a fork full of food in my mouth trying to force myself to eat. To remain composed. I don’t want to eat but I can see the expectancy in their eyes, watching me, measuring me, I cannot falter or fail now. If I do, later I stand no hope.

“Have you decided how you will… persuade her?” My mother has that familiar mischievous glint in her eyes the kind she has before she does something embarrassing and morally reprehensible. Not that my own moral compass strictly points the path to the right thing. I shake my head no and put my fork back down.

“There is no point in a strict plan until I know what I face. A general idea is enough for me, until I know the enemy how can I begin to thwart it?” I ask so nonchalantly my father beams with pride, like he could see every image of his own self in me. But I am not my father. Nor my mother. Nor am I him. Despite what is expected of me, what is demanded and wanted and desired of me I am not him. I want to rage it from the roof tops, every time I see that look in their eyes. That waiting for the first sign of showing what they call my true colours, my true nature. Followed by that flash of disappointment. Continue reading →

What do I hope to write in 2019?

Posted on by arappleby

Well, I am hoping to write a lot more about what is going on in my life. I want arappleby.com to be even more personal, I want to start adding some photos rather than just keep it all on Instagram. I want to use social media still alongside the website but I want the website to be my home from home… or my diary away from diary. I want to share some of my best days on here.

I want to write more of the Dollhouse project, I know book 1 was a pretty big challenge as it was. But I want to continue working on it.

I want to crack open the big project too. I want to really start with new eyes. I want to pick apart the mountain and really plan it in a new way. I want to really get my teeth into that first draft and really see where and what needs to be changed. I want to really push that definition.

I want to remain true to myself as a writer and part of that means working on how I write and that means I want to create a ritual. So I think a half hour cut out of the day to first meditate and get myself into a place where dreaming is allowed in a big way as long as my fingers hit keys. Then the second part of that half hour should be working on a plan for the day. What I want to set my word count at realistically. What is going to really help me write with focus. That means in that second fifteen minutes the computer is running, the playlist is pulled up to listen to. The work log spreadsheet is pulled up and minor updates are made. The next part of that ritual starts with a small warm up piece, maybe something minor if I have time and inspiration. If not, I start on whatever large task is on my list I am finding that approach is working best for me at the moment so I want to continue that.

I am hoping to add a third project into the mix as well as the dollhouse and the big project. I would like a small on the fly easy to write kind of project that has no real plans. That is how The Diary of Elliot Parker came about. It was always on the fly with no plot or plan. It was a fun piece to write. I am ready to have a new for fun writing project. I already really enjoy those big set projects but a place to exercise whim is something I am looking forward to… maybe something that’s not in the realms of fantasy like the others, something that hasn’t got vampires or magic or angels or demons or dragons or whatever. I would like to practice something I don’t do. Not historical though. I don’t much like the idea of playing with people I don’t know that actually existed in the real world. I tend to like being inspired by people I do know as characters or people I don’t know that I have never met or will ever meet that don’t exist in the real world.