I am sure that I am not the only one who feels that, or uninspired, or unmotivated. Or in other words, it can be called doubt.
Lately it feels as though it could eat me alive. I am sure I am not the only one who feels that. I think that it is highly likely to be the cause of this writers block. It is all to easy to doubt yourself, doubt the things that you are trying to achieve. Being creative is not enough, it is doing something with it. It is finding inspiration in darkness and light and in any chance you can to find something that can spark the story you want to tell, that you didn’t know you wanted to tell.
I think emotional stagnation, being trapped in one feeling for too long is counterproductive to being able to write something, or do something that inspires you as a human, and others. I suppose that loving the fantasy genre, loving the idea that you can be your own hero is something important. Having a “real” job doesn’t mean much if it doesn’t make you happy.
Sure recently at work I’ve been able to come to peace with the idea I am selling my time to make someone else’s vision real. But I haven’t been willing to do that for myself. Is it easier to believe in an established corporation than to believe in yourself? Without a doubt. Betting on yourself, on what you want to achieve feels way more risky than going into work, selling your time and then coming home and relaxing and having a cup of tea. Perhaps it is time I make writing easier to get to, easier to do than pulling the knitting from the side of the sofa and watching Netflix.
Time to act on all those inspirational things I see on my instagram feed and start betting on myself more. Sure I might not be certain about a lot of things but I know without a doubt I am certain I am passionate about writing, I want to do myself justice. I want to be able to say to my kids one day, sure I doubted myself, a lot, almost all the time, but I knew one thing. If I didn’t try, if I didn’t push forward and learn and try again and again, I would never be really happy with myself. Doubting yourself is just life, but doing what you love anyway, doing it no matter how many times you fail, doing it and never giving up on something that you are passionate about and makes you happy (even if you “fail” spectacularly) that is living. That is believing in yourself. Even if it doesn’t sound like it.
Failing is a part of life, don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it and use it to make you better.
You can do anything… If you let yourself!
I had forgotten about that reminder, I once wanted as a tattoo, I probably could do with the reminder permanently etched on me somewhere, just a little self belief and a little convincing and you can conquer the world and turn uncertainty into something entirely certain. A little refueling of passion never hurts.
May luck and adventure be on your side in this uncertain world.