.: Entry Thirty-Four :.
My name is Elliot Parker.
Today is still Thursday for me.
The dream of the pair of pairs of magpies is still on my mind. It was a different dream. It feels like the first time I have ever seen this dream of the magpies telling me that the happiness is multiplied it was like yes, four does mean for a boy. But it also means, look there is happiness and there is happiness it is where ever you set your gaze and from the broader perspective the happiness is multiplied. It feels good to know.
So yesterday I went for a late lunch with Clover, I wanted to know clearly, to have it confirmed to me that those intimate moments on Monday were intimate and not just my relaxed allowing feeling. I wanted it confirmed. I wanted confirmation? Like I didn’t know what I already knew what I have been knowing. How strange.
So anyway I recounted what happened as objectively as I could, trying to remove myself, my feeling and my interpretation of those moments.
Clover turned to me and said that it was very relationshippy that it didn’t surprise her. She knows, she has this certainty and knowing that Adrian and I will be together again, we will work things out and “get back together” in that moment, I felt a little guilty for the feelings I have had for Jonas. Her certainty in her knowing just felt like there was no remorse or discomfort in her knowing. It expanded what I know. She is beginning to learn how to be a deliberate creator and her knowing without question of this was just very interesting to watch her list of knowing.
There are times where Clover is handed a great huge giant piece of contrast that infuriates her. Rather than find a way back to alignment with her focus she wants to bathe and swim and go wild with the contrast. There is the huge difference. The contrast that is handed to me that infuriates me? Well I try to find my way back to alignment to feel relief.
I know that finding some relief of the emotion will lead to more if I follow and hold my attention to it and before long my energy begins to alter, I begin to walk closer to hopefulness, I begin to walk closer to optimism, I walk closer to happiness. I reach a point and it feels like walking hand in hand with happiness. It feels great. It feels spectacular. It is so wonderful to enjoy the manifestation of the better feeling thoughts.
I have to keep remembering this one thing, there is nothing that I can gain from talking about it when I feel the resistance. Do you know what I recommend my dear diary? I recommend walking away from those thoughts that do not satisfy you, that do not provide you the ease and bliss that you want to feel. Walk the F- away from them because it doesn’t make a diddly bit of difference.
Want to know something interesting? Of course you don’t, you are my diary.
So I told Clover about my dream. It was early in the morning, she read it and went back to sleep. So she just sent me a message that she had a weird dream. She dreamed she was pregnant (around four months) and I already had a baby an 18 month old. The name, though, I have never told her what I want to call my kids (yes I know already a little list of names that I would like to call my kids) and she told me that the name of my baby, was a name from that list, a list that I tell no one. Which very much surprised me. And she goes on to say that I apparently said “so much for the doctors saying he can’t have kids” and I am here on the other side of my phone laughing because I know the who. Here is where it gets a second bit odd. I have had this strange feeling like a knowing, one of those just things that you just have a feeling about. Anyway that feeling that if I had a child with this person, our first child would be a boy. And apparently in her dream it was. It was a strange dream apparently and continues focused on the pregnancy on her side. The 18 months part, I haven’t told her yet that Adrian’s contract is for 18 months. I found that a very odd coincidence. It was nice to hear about the strange dream just because of all the funny coincidences of things I have not told her appearing in her dream. It just feels funny, amusing. Like co-creating at its best, she is dreaming of the pregnancy and the boyfriend that she really wants but at the same time she is showing hints and signs at things that have never been told to her. Her dream is interesting from the tiny details that I know that are related to me or my future just because it is curious to see what I want subconsciously that has leaked into her subconscious that coincides and collaborates with what she wants.
I have a feeling that I know exactly what would be a good thing for her to receive. I am being a bit spoiled today with all these fun moments of alignment, all these funny moments where I check the time by accident to see how long I have left before I need to go out. So far today I have had 11.00 show itself to me, 11.11 and 11.22 it is fun to just see my alignment and shots at angel numbers that I do and don’t know.
I am feeling the bliss of the amusement, the bliss of the waft and smell of the candle wax burning. It is fun to imagine that as the candle burns it is pulling the resistance from me and dissipating it. It feels great to just allow these funny moments that amuse me. The universe is confirming to me all that I ask of it and all that I have not yet asked it is bringing forth the answers.