The Diary of Elliot Parker

.: Entry Fifteen :.

My name is Elliot Parker and I like to doodle.

I am sure everyone likes to doodle, but recently I have been doodling more frequently. That doodling has turned more into drawing, or trying to draw. I sent a photo of a few of my doodle drawings to Jonas during a chat when he asked what I was doing. Rather childishly I got a bit happy and excited when he said they were good. Boy can that man draw.

I like talking to Jonas, it is fun. I know I shouldn’t but he is that one friend who if it wasn’t for my heart still longing for someone who shall not be named; but if it wasn’t for that, I would be very curious about seeing what could happen.

How often do you meet someone who just inspires you to keep working at your dream? To focus on the creativity and the things that really make you happy and not sacrifice that joy and happiness for money.

Of course with Jonas, there are some very big perspective differences, very different opinions. It makes for interesting conversations. But we are united in one thing, a love for cake. Cake is great, I mean come on?

The thing is, we met in a rather odd way. I was his client. Then the odd message once in a while turned into at least once a week then once a day and now we’ve been talking every day for a couple of months at least. Unconventional conversations are great when both participants have an open mind. But the cake debates are great.

It always makes me happy when he sends me a picture of artwork he has done. It is like when I share a little bit of what I write with someone. “Here is a little piece of my soul and energy”. That is scary to do. So I appreciate it every time. I never have to lie though. It is always great work. That man has more skills than what meets the eye. I love it. Within 20 minutes or an hour perhaps, boom there is something beautiful and wonderfully drawn and it just seems to be like magic.

My name is Elliot Parker.

I think I have a crush, I shouldn’t but I do. I don’t even know how or why, but there is just this tiny little crush kindling for Jonas even though it seems like the most impossible choice.

Like I mentioned before my heart still longs for he who should not be named, so I don’t know how it is possible for me to have this teeny tiny crush on Jonas. Yes, he is pretty awesome. He is a good friend. We get along, mostly.

Sure I was a bit of an insensitive jerk recently. But I am sort of glad that I was, because I learned something important. I don’t want to make him upset. I wasn’t a jerk on purpose I just sort of didn’t think. I didn’t know the extent that something that seemed simple and inconsequential to me would have the outcome they did.

I think it is sorted now, I hope that it is better now that we talked about it. I don’t think I realised how sensitive he was. I forgot how tetchy us creative types are.

I don’t know why the friendship grew. I mean, sure there is an aspect of a working relationship but there is also the fun silly banter. I am glad that I chose him to do the work, after all, there are somethings that just work by nature, by the energy, the right energy is always important it will tell you more about a person than what they say sometimes. Ok not sometimes, all the time.

I hate how reading energy can make things confusing, I mean, my own energy attracts specific energies and sure that can be great finding so many kindred spirits. But it doesn’t help when you are reading a friend and you know them so well you can just tell what they are doing when their energy touches yours. It is how I know when they lie, it is how I know that they have me on their mind, it is how I knew without knowing what I knew now that he who should not be named wanted to reach out to me despite his own stubborn block of being in his way.

I didn’t think I could ever read someone’s energy like this, I can read an energy from thousands of miles away. But that is it isn’t it? Energy spreads and transcends. Knowing what it is you are reading from an energy can be hard, like it is with Jonas, I think without projecting my energy on the situation from a different perspective, there are moments in his energy when I know that there is an intense focus on the artwork, or on occasion when the conversation between us is being held the object of complete focus and attention. That seems to be the point when the deepest and most honest conversations happen, with very little banter. It kind of starts with a silly question and before long, there it is, the deep conversation that sort of surprises you in ways you didn’t think of. I like the deep conversations, the serious ones, I like that it doesn’t have to be good or bad it can be said objectively and detached if need be. I like that it is possible to have a conversation about something serious and not be fobbed off with “I have to go this is too serious” or “this is too uncomfortable can we change the topic?” There is no glazing over the conversations if the tone isn’t bright and happy. There is no skip or ignore. It just happens, it is honest and I really enjoy that honesty. I really enjoy being able to talk and connect with someone that inspires me so much.

I like being able to voice how I feel honestly with someone who appreciates the honesty and reciprocates. That doesn’t hit the skip to the good part button. I say that from experiencing talking to someone who frequently hit the skip button. He who shall not be named, he did that often. I don’t blame him. But it makes me appreciate Jonas’ openness all the more.

The pre-order link is available now… Due to release 14th January!

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