.: Entry Ninety-One :.

My name is Elliot Parker; I think that it is at last happened. It has taken some time, ok a long time, but Adrian’s notifications don’t make me feel like they used to, I don’t get very excited or very nervous. It’s more an “oh its Adrian” or “oh its Adrian again” and occasionally when I am frustrated and tired I think “what does he want?” but that is very big change all the same. In honesty, I no longer hang on the messages and conversations the way I used to. I suppose that is why I have noticed an increase in the messages or calls to just “catch up and see how it is going”. It sounds stupid I know, to notice these things. But it seems the messages or calls come through when I am mostly happy and relaxed, and often when I am spending time with Dyl.

Yes, I have been spending more time with Dyl. Which sort of corresponds with the happy relaxed-ness that has been increasing steadily. I know it sounds strange, but I just like spending time with him and hanging out in his company, I don’t feel so worried about things, I just feel more in the moment and more comfortable. I guess I didn’t anticipate what it would be like to be in someone’s company who just naturally puts me at ease without trying. He shows me the things that I had been wanting. Someone willing to fantasize about a future, an ideal. So I am looking forward to that first official date.

It started as a for fun friendship. Well, something started to change and that golden rule was broken, no getting feelings. I suppose it would have been very hard to not develop feelings for him. Dyl seems to have cracked the hard outer shell. We seem to just want to spend time together. I know I tend to hope that the schedules align more than once in a week, if just to spend a few hours in each other’s company… sometimes, I catch myself watching him from the corner of my eye. It’s like we seem to be drawn to each other even at work, I can’t help but want to steal a few moments chatting and flirting.

It’s easy to get lost in sensations sometimes. The way he holds my hand and our fingers intertwine or the way he smiles when he kisses me. The hopeful idealistic chats of a future without limits.

It’s been a few weeks of getting to know each other and making that time to talk and get to know each other.

Plus, I suppose there is one thing I shouldn’t be aware of just yet that I have been told, it’s a work thing though. We get mystery spies come by and rate us at work, ok so “spies” does make it sound much cooler. Well I got 100% which is really good I just need to keep that up. I think when it comes to work I have been getting what I want more often than not. I think when this contract extension ends I would like a new contract to be issued the first Monday of the next month (yep that’s right, I want it renewed after two weeks). I seem to like manifesting positive things at work and working on how I feel positively at work. It’s like the time I spend making myself feel better about myself, my day, my life. It’s the time I use to create a lot of positive reinforcement. Sounds like I really am working on this deliberate creation thing more deliberately.

I feel like I am using the good feeling thoughts to push forward my own desires. I know that everything is responding to energy, I like knowing that. I like seeing everything working out easily for me. I like having a place that I am giving myself some set time, sometime carved out whether it is 5 minutes or more snatched in a shift into positively reinforcing my energy and confidence and alignment with the greater energy of me.

There is a fair bit of fun in just enjoying how things are going each day. I like the feel of the imminent energy of all that I desire coming into my experience. I like spending time with Dyl and I hope to see much more of him.

I’ve been a bit all over the place today, but I know there is one thing I am really happy about at the moment, spending time with Dyl. It’s a natural attraction with lots of fun and excitement in just getting to know someone who is happy in themselves more often than not.

I have another shift soon, and I know I will get to spend some more time focusing positively within. I like that I am doing well, I like doing well and feeling proud of myself and shaking off any alternative vibrations. I know in my shift today I will encounter a great deal of positivity and I will enjoy the feeling of my abundance. I think, what I might do is… buy a lotto ticket. I am feeling quit abundant in my positivity today, perhaps a lucky dip is just what I need. I can enjoy fantasizing about what possibly done with a nice lotto win on a lucky dip. I like the abundance, I like feeling of abundance I am enjoying and revelling in today. I can have fun during my shift fantasizing on the perfection of what I could be doing with the estimated 9 million. I have a few ideas but who knows what fantasy I will be having during my four hours working with ease enjoying the flow of positive, happy, exciting, fun interactions of the people flowing through my day.

Today is a great day.

There is so much potential for a great deal of fun and freedom. I know there is an abundance of fun and freedom and love and money and all my desires are flowing to me and through me with easy expectation.

Here is a brief summery of books one, two and three, but I highly recommend flying over to my amazon author page to get the first three books to be reaquainted properly for the next installments (Saturdays for the foreseeable future) for The Diary of Elliot Parker… https://www.amazon.com/A.-R.-Appleby/e/B00N96X5L8

 

PART ONE

So, arappleby.com has recently had the feature called The Diary of Elliot Parker. This feature is about to restart and launch into the next part of Elliot Parker’s story.

Well here we go for a little recap to catch us all up. I hope that I get this all sort of right, this is a good way for me to test my own memory.

So… Elliot has a friend called Clover. Elliot liked a boy called Stan. Clover started talking to Stan and pursuing him. Clover then dated Stan. (Not the first time Clover has gone after someone that Elliot liked.)

Elliot has strange dreams where it’s supposed to be a safe place, only accessible to Elliot but that is so not the case. A stranger has access to the room of the dream.

Elliot is still very aware that there is an unconditional love for he who shall not be named aka the ex-boyfriend Adrian Ferisle. Sad huh? Adrian is naturally a difficult relationship: friends or otherwise. He knows how to get under Elliot’s skin to cause a lot of anger and hurt- intentionally or not.

Therefore, Elliot knows the tricky situation with the love life cannot last. After struggling to move on for so long Elliot has developed a crush/feelings for a friend, Jonas. Which is a bit of a difficult situation because you never know if or when it would ever be safe to confess something like that to a friend, especially someone that is inspirational. Especially when you have remained in denial for months and months.

Elliot’s strange dreams that seem to be hackable are able to push into a dream in a dream, where Elliot becomes the stowaway girl on a pirate ship under attack and finds a plan to save captain and crew.

Clover and Elliot have a falling out. Elliot remains silent in the matter hoping to work things out but Clover has other ideas. When Elliot decides to put Elliot first and draw a line Clover reacts badly and while Elliot remains silent on the matter Clover goes out of her way to run Elliot’s name through the mud assuming that Elliot will not know or find out. Which sucks. And Elliot knows. Elliot knows everything…

Except… That the dream hacker is actually the ex- Adrian Ferisle not the person he claimed to be, Adrian Kraig, which was incidentally his mother’s maiden name. But still… How uncool, he created the dream world that Elliot enjoys visiting so that he could talk openly and honestly without getting his own way- like he does in the real world.

So that is everything in short. Please check out the link to buy The Diary of Elliot Parker as a whole… A great way to catch up.

PART TWO

Clover and Elliot finally find a way to bridge the gap and the anger. But that doesn’t clear up Elliot’s own confusion, since her dream hacker revealed himself as her ex she’s felt more confused by their friendship or whatever they are. Things just seem incredibly complicated. She followed an impulse and put on a rune ring. Soon after she began to discover astral travel, intentional astral travel.

Somehow Elliot ends up tapping into Adrian’s dreams trying to get a clearer understanding but this only leaves her more confused. She struggles to navigate and chooses to run in a different way and resumes her dreams of being the stowaway girl, even if things aren’t perfect.

Adrian begins to change and Elliot is noticing, and appreciating the change more and more. But he is not the only one changing Elliot is noticing the change in herself as she begins to stumble into her own clarity.

But its two steps forward one step back when Elliot and Adrian meet up one evening. Things get a little, misinterpreted, which leads to Elliot being hard on herself before she stops wallowing in the funk. But they both are feeling that mid-life crisis when they keep denying to themselves and or one another what they really want. Things go from awkward and distant to worse when Adrian finally finds out how Elliot was feeling, from someone else, Clover. This time however, Elliot was standing up for her damn self and not bending to old habits and behaviours to calm the situation. That means a lot of awkward for a long while.

Elliot began putting herself first again and people were noticing. Elliot allows herself more escapism in her dreaming, heading to the stowaway life again. By allowing herself to be someone else the change is substantial and keeps on growing.

Elliot even puts a second chance on the table. She is taking risks and feeling braver. Even when she manifests a whole bunch of crazy and comes to terms with not feeling ready to start a memoir. She escapes back into the stowaway dreams, but finds the spirit dreams with Adrian are still pulling her in. In his own way, he tells her not to give up.

She takes another risk without any agenda or hope of an outcome and tells Adrian the truth, that she loves him unconditionally.

PART TWO

Elliot takes more risks with no reward with Adrian. Her feelings for him change and become less significant than they have ever been and her focus is changing in big ways.

Her visits to the dream worlds are less frequent and significant as her life begins to change more and more, who she is, is changing.

Elliot is becoming a newer person and it is confusing her exactly who she wants to be… Elliot is making tougher choices and silly mistakes.

Elliot’s relationship with Clover really begins to suffer as Elliot changes and decides who she wants to be and what she wants in her life. There are some big clashes as Elliot is really holding Clover accountable for some incidents in the past and the present. Elliot knows how she wants to be treated and that isn’t going to change any time soon. Fact or fiction she has some evolving going on.

Elliot’s life is changing with a new job, her confidence is growing and that has a far reaching impact. She begins to separate herself from what was once what she wanted and begins to enjoy a new freedom. This new job opens the door to a new future, a happier person is beginning to emerge from all this confusing, overwhelming change Elliot has been experiencing.

PART THREE

Elliot is starting to really move on the more she begins to focus on herself. Elliot is changing and Clover doesn’t always agree with her sticking up for herself anymore. There is a huge change in Elliot in terms of her future and her mood. With new guy Dylan taking some attention Clover begins to destroy the relationship she has with Elliot. There is a lot of upheaval and not all of it will be for the better.