So I know I will never be the first person to say this, but rejection sucks.
So even though I am a big fan of Abraham Hicks and the law of attraction and I totally should not be talking about the what-is-ness I have something to confess.
I have sent off something to agents and publishers. Something that started to be a “for the website” piece of work. That was all it was going to be. Something exclusively for the website. But that didn’t really go to plan. I wrote a couple of chapters and thought “hey I really like this” so I kept writing on and about five chapters in I realised I was wrong. Sure it was sort of an impulse thought, because as you know, I had originally intended to find a publisher for the “big project” but lately I haven’t been working on that or re-editing it because I wanted to write some more for the website. But as I wrote more for the website, as I wrote more of this project for the website, that is designed to be a series, I realised that I loved it. Like, I looked at what I had written and thought “holy crap this is some of my very best work” and so I thought, could this have a bigger life than what I can give it on the website. So with that thought in mind my next thought was, “should I think about not posting it to the website straight away, could this be something worth being published.”
That is how in one short night I ended up writing two chapters, a synopsis on the quick fly and a quick cover letter. I then started to just send off to one agent and then another and another. A week later I had collected three rejections. Three “no’s” closer to a “yes” I suppose.
And it is really hard to not get caught up in the rejection. Wondering if I should really be doing this. The answer is yes. I have to take a risk on myself because this one piece has been the most fun to write in a long old time. It happens to be a fun idea, it feels like some of the most fun I have had writing in a while. I have called the series The Dollhouse. It has a meaning down the line. But I do love writing it. It is nice to write something a little flirty and sensual. Sure it will never be a fifty shades type deal. I don’t want to write or rewrite something like that, no matter how many times people tell me I should. I don’t want to be using something that doesn’t inspire me, I don’t want to follow my non-writing Nana’s advice and write a “bodice ripper”. I think it is safe to say by now that you all know that isn’t exactly my style. I know they say sex sells, but why can’t flirtatious ideas and sensuality be something that sells? With a heavy element in the fantasy realms.
So sure this is my first hurdle, a week of rejection will get closer to the yes I want.
I am sure writing a synopsis drives every writer who has ever had to write one mad. It drives me mad for sure. I hate doing them. But that is just part of the process.
So I suppose given that I will probably post a bit of The Dollhouse series soon just to show you what it is that got me so excited and pumped up enough that I thought “wow I could have a shot with this”, I could perhaps tell you a little about it.
The Dollhouse is a series where there is a dual narrator. It will have two leading females. One who is “good” and one who is “bad” but I am hoping it won’t be that black and white. I want it to challenge the idea of good and evil and the battle of it. I want it to be fun and flirty because that is what it feels like when I write this project. I feel the fun and flirty-ness of the story even if it is ultimately what is good and evil and how do you quantify what is the proper path.
Writing is something that you have to love if you are going to believe in yourself enough to let other people read it. I don’t have to love myself to write. I have to write and then I get that bit closer to loving myself. It is showing myself that self love of doing something I enjoy. Fantasising. It took a long long time for me to stop keeping these fantasies and stories to myself and to start writing them down. That felt like such a giant leap at the time. Putting my thoughts to words that make these worlds and stories I dreamed of real. It felt like a risk at first. Now it feels like the biggest risk is not believing in myself enough to pursue it and keep writing and keep putting myself out there.
So I suppose I will have to let you know what happens the more I keep putting my writing out there and giving it the best shot I can give it.
May luck and adventure be on your side.